Life is suck. Thats all i can say. its not because i cant accept the fate that has been written to me. but im really not strong enough to face all the tests given. NOT ANYMORE :'(
You are not in my shoes. You definitely dont know how does it feels. it hurts so much. Reality is pain. The pain is real. No meds, no cure, no remedy.
I thought last year was the worst thing ever happened in my life. but i was wrong. This is the most painful. Idk how to go through all these. I just cant.
I want to cry. i want to run as far as i can. But,  i know. How far i run, the memories will still haunt me.
The memories will never fade away. i know. how i wish i have amnesia. so that i can forget everything.
I want to be borned as a baby again. to start the new life. to start all over again.
9 years. 
Do make me strong. Im weak without your indication. 
Please...
Till then, bye.